Thursday, February 25, 2010

A day for remembering.....

This is just an incredibly sad day for me.  Thank heavens the sun is shinning.  Mike's & my good friend, Don Estell, was killed Sun. night in a plane crash in St. Louis.  Don was a fraternity brother of Mike's and a really good friend and I just can't believe both of these men are gone.  They were both such a giant presence on this earth that all of us who were close to them are feeling such a giant whole in our universe. 

Don married Linda probably a year after Mike and I were married.  We were all in college together and since the guys were in the same fraternity, we spent lots of time together.  The guys were both wild and crazy and everytime I've thought of Don the last few days, I've gotten a smile on my face.  So many stories come to mind of things they did that young men do when they've had a few beers and no fear of anything.  It's so strange how they both grew to be such responsible adult men who loved and took such good care of their families.  They both loved talking about their kids and then to have seen them as grandfathers was incredible.  Where does the time go?

Today I'm especially thinking of Linda.  They had such plans.  They loved to travel and to be on the ocean and he talked of getting a place in Costa Rica when he could finally pry Linda away from her grandchildren.  We're too young to have to give up on those dreams.

 Allison told me this week about their lesson in bible study and it's really made me do a lot of thinking.  She said God does not make bad things happen nor does he try to stop them, but He does bring incredible joy afterward if you just open your heart to him.  I know this to be true because I've felt incredible happiness since Mike died mainly because of the life that Mike & I made together.  All the things in my life that remind me of him are the very things that bring me incredible joy.  When I hear our grandkids speak so openly about Grampa and their love for him, I have incredible joy.  Sometimes they're sad because they miss him but I know that's only because they felt his love.  And I have our Allison.  She brings me such incredible joy. 

When I have my sad times, I think of how Mike would hate for me to waste one minute with regrets.  He would want me to live for the both of us and I think I'm doing that.  He's almost always with me and one thing of which I'm certain is that he wanted me to be happy.  I'm hoping that Linda will see that when the initial shock is over and be able to go on with her dreams.  Don would so want that for her because he certainly lived his life to the fullest.

11 comments:

Primitiques 'n Poetry said...

Oh Jan, I'm sorry for the loss of yours and Mike's friend. What a reunion they must be having, huh? I'm so glad you smile with your memories. ~Mindy

Jodie (everything vintage) said...

Oh Jan, I came by to thank you for the sweet comment you left me yesterday, and I'm so sad to read this. Your heart is so heavy and I'm so sad you hurt inside. Such an unexpected tragedy, I'm so sorry.
If it makes you feel any better, I really enjoyed your visit yesterday and you uplifted my spirits with your sweet comment. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better...

dulcy said...

So sorry Jan.........

xo
dulcy

Debra@Common Ground said...

Jan, such a tragedy, I hope you will be able to convey these wise and heartfelt thoughts to your friend. Our memories are sweet of our loved ones, and God surely does bless us when we turn to Him.
love,
Debra

Susan said...

After you called me the other night I was thinking the same thing that Mindy said... what a reunion Mike and Don must have had!!!
I think so much about the life you have without Mike, and I know he has to be so proud of you and all that you've accomplished. I know I sure am. Love you!

simplyiowa said...

Hi Jan...
I am so very sorry for your loss...
It sounds like your friend, had a wonderful life, and the love of his life... And your love, and friendship... What gifts... When I have lost, loved ones, in my life, Faith has always carried me through... Just knowing, in my heart, that our time here, is so very short, a blink, really, to God, but our Home, awaits us, with our loved ones, for eternity... We must do our best, here, to enjoy life, and share with others, and bring as much joy as we can, to others.... Sounds like these Men, did a wonderful job, with that... We don't know, for sure, what happens, when we leave this Earth, Like you, I feel the presence of my Dad, sometimes, right here, at my side... I know Dad will be there to meet me, when my work is done, here...at a Heavenly Home, where there is no 'age', or illnesses, just peace, and Love...
My Prayers are with you, and yours...
Barb C.

Sweet Repose said...

This has been an interesting year with so many souls going home...I see the God spirit and the Christ spirit in so many souls today...we just have to learn that we are only here long enough to learn the lessons, death is not a horrible condition that we all are afflicted with, it is a higher consciousness that we all seek...a goodness of being in all man, some just choose to leave earlier...it's not a bad thing, only for those who won't release.

My heart goes out to you, as always and the families of the loved ones gone home.

Take care friend, enjoy them grandbabies!

Springs a comin...sharon

Barbsigns4u said...

TO THOSE I LOVE
When I'm gone, release me and let me go. I have so many things to see and do. You must not tie yourself to me with tears. Be happy we had so many years. I gave you my love. You can only guess how much you gave me in happiness. I thank you for the love you've shown, but now, I must travel alone. So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must. Then let your grief be comforted by trust. It's only for a while that we must part. So bless the memories in your heart, I won't be far away, for life goes on. So if you need me, I will come. Though you can't see me or hear me, I'll be near. And if you listen with your heart, you will hear all my love around you soft and clear, and when you come this way alone, I'll meet you with a smile and say, Welcome home!!

David said...

So sorry to hear this, Jan. I know you'll be an encouragement to Linda during this difficult time. God bless you both.

Ragamuffin Gal said...

You are such an amazing woman Jan and your post has touched my heart in such an incredible way. And what Ali said to you... oh, what wisdom that gal has! I am so proud to call you both dear friends. I love you immensely! XO

Wish on a Whisker said...

Jan~ You have such a lovely ~energy~ about you. I am very inspired by your grace. Sorry for the loss of your friend. ~Mandy